A man of sexual integrity is motivated by his desire to be obedient to God’s commands. He wants his family to know that they can come to him about sexual matters because he is living his faith out and they see your peace. When they know that your peace is based on your relationship with God, they are more apt to face life by seeking the peace of God instead of the world. They can sense that you have surrendered your will to God’s will.

If you are living a double life, however, you become less reliable and less available emotionally to your wife and children. As the kids get into their teens you want to be able to be helpful to them when they ask sexual and moral questions. It is much easier, and more believable, if you are coming to them from a position of sexual integrity yourself.

When I mention sexual integrity you may think I’m talking only about trying not to do certain things; trying not to lust after a woman, trying not to take a second look, and generally trying harder. That’s not it. It is also not about sinless perfection. 

Here is a more helpful mindset.

• God loves me and sent his son, Jesus, to die for my sins of impurity, and for me to rest in that fact as a believer. “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1 (NLT) He loves me and wants to restore my relationship with him.
• My sanctification is a process that continues my whole life. It is not made perfect until I leave this life.
• When I am weak, he is strong. Ask for God’s strength and you can move mountains. 
• Stay focused on why you are seeking sexual integrity in the first place; obedience to Christ’s commands, like fleeing sexual immorality. As it says in 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV), “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”
• Romans 8:1-16, specifically vs. 12-13, says, “Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.” So, have the mindset that you will live by the Spirit and not the flesh. 

Here are some of the rewards for maintaining sexual integrity. It’s all good!

• Freedom from guilt
• Freedom from shame
• Feeling worthy to be a spiritual leader at home
• Feeling worthy to be in leadership positions at church
• Being close to God
• Being obedient to God
• Being in God’s will for your life, which is sexual integrity
• Being the same man at home and work as you are at church
• Relying on God’s strength and not your own
• Humility to know you wouldn’t have sexual integrity without God’s grace 
• If married, a pure marriage relationship unstained by betrayal
• A wife who can trust you fully because you have been faithful
• Innocence, that is the ability to look at a woman without lusting. To be able to look at her as a sister
• More time to do the right things
• Honoring your values by your behavior- no duplicity
• Physical and emotional presence with your friends, wife, and family
• Having nothing to hide anywhere from anyone in your home, office, phone, or life in general
• Freedom to know and be known
• Experiencing the full range of emotions because they haven’t been numbed with porn
• Dealing with life’s trials and challenges in a healthy way
• The ability to receive love and give love freely

I hope you are encouraged to be a man of sexual integrity for the benefit of both you and your family. It has so many rewards and no downside.   

Image by Unsplash